it's britney, bitch

Ah, the VMAs.

The end-of-summer, end all, be all of irrelevant awards shows. Last night's awards were, in a word, epic. Britney was back, old rock stars got punched, and everyone was drunk and in Vegas.

Which, was the best part about the show, to be honest. For a generation with an increasingly shorter attention span, MTV did the smart thing and axed an hour from the show, incorporated snippets of performances from everyone from T.I. to the Foo Fighters (featuring Cee-lo) and Fall Out Boy (featuring Rihanna) in between presenter nonsense, shameless self promotion— and maybe an award or two, and claimed they were only going to broadcast the show once [although it re-aired immediately after it ended.] MTV promoted its "remixed" version of the show, as well as web videos of the suite concerts all night— proving that the broadcast media is in as much danger of being replaced by the Internets as the print media.

The best part about the revamp of the VMAs was that the viewer felt like they were just hanging with the rockstars giving concerts for their own pleasure in Vegas suites. Kanye had a huge grin on his face while he dueted with Common in an incredibly up close and personal performance. The Foo Fighters called in everyone— the aforementioned Cee-lo, System of Down's Serj Tankian, Mastadon, and Queen of the Stone Age's Josh Homme for the most rock 'n roll of all the "intimate" performances. JT got drunk, accepted awards and yelled at MTV to play more videos—admirable.

Basically, the Vegas VMAs made us (bored twenty-something college students) feel like we were at a house party (something we can relate to) with the coolest kids in school (something we all want) Their decision to go host-free and employ a house "band," led by DJ/buzzkid/wunderkind Mark Ronson, was definitely an upgrade, as Ronson's arrangements of Top 40 hits like "Smack That" and "Wake Up Call" were 100% better than the real thing.

Who cares who won anything? At an awards show where Fall Out Boy wins "Best Group" three years in a row, does the Moon Man even attempt to claim a slice of creditability any more? I got to see Justin Timberlake shake his ass, Jaimie Foxx be a drunkass fool and Alicia Keys bring down the ceiling with a gospel choir. What else is there to ask for?

MTV: Pandering to short attention spans, youth culture and technology trends since 1985.