Calling out the lurkers.


Who are you and why are you here?

Jane Austen is rolling in her grave somewhere

I just saw a trailer for the movie version of Pride and Prejudice starring Kiera Knightly. The music scoring it? Fucking "Collide" by Howie Day.

Oh yes. Because when I think 19th century British comedy of manners novels, I think of shitty, sacchrine, acoustic pop-rock from 2005.

We are not amused.


Bad blogger, bad!

Sorry. I suck at blogging lately. Someday, I will get back to being political and updating everyday, I swear. Probably after midterms/when I get my legal issues worked out.

To placate you, here is a picture of a cat drinking Yueng-ling


If you'd like to know why I'm a feminist...

...it's because men like this continue to exist.

Also, I keep waking up every hour or so and it sucks ass.


Relax-This won't hurt.

We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark — the place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.


Four dead in Ohio

Rules for a Kent Weekend
1) Don't follow Angry. Ever.
2) Don't drive into the lake
3) "Not it," in fact, did not end when you left middle school
4) It's possible to live for three days eating nothing but caramel Ho-Hos, Ruffles and other Hostess products.

I had a great weekend. In other news, they're baaaaaaack

For real? Shut up and die and GET A LIFE, you pathetic waste. Actually, no, you know what? IM me. Ask me whatever it is you're so desperate to know, because I'm getting sick of you turning up just when I'd forgotten all about you.


Happy excuse to sell chocolate, cards, roses and diamonds (things that no one needs, ever) in the name of love Day.



Peace out.

See ya later, Michelle Kwan. Now, we all felt bad for you when Tara took your gold in Nagano (8 years ago). We really did. But when you totally fucked up four years ago and got bronze, behind Sara Hughes and that Russian chick, we all started to think it was time for you to hang it up. Then, when you only skated in one qualifying event for these Olympics, but somehow still managed to get there, we were all a little pissed at you. Face it 'Chelle. You're too old to still be looking for your first gold. No one thinks you're endearing or inspiring any more. You didn't even win the last World Championship you skated in (2005, bronze medal). You're too old (I know, harsh when you're only 26) Gold medals aren't won by women any more, they're won by little girls who are light and tiny and freakishly creepy.

But really, how much does it suck that the little sister of the girl who beat your ass four years ago is taking your place? Michelle Kwan probably has a voodoo alter devoted to the Hughes sisters.

All of that being said, Team Sasha, FTW!


Thank you ESPN

All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive

Oh, and by the way...we won the Superbowl. Despite all the hateration, it's still probably the best thing to ever happen.

Now, let's start on that other hand.


Dear Sportswriters of the world-

Your behavior today, the morning after the Superbowl, has confirmed my suspiscion that you are the lowest, vilest form of humanity alive. You talk up the Steelers, then say they have no mo' going into the Big Game because YOU have hyped them to. effing. death.

I will say this once and that will be the goddamn end of it. The Seattle Seahawks were not robbed. They had every bit as much chance to win that game as we did. If Mike Holmgren knew how to manage a clock or coach, your kicker would have made at least one of those field goals. If Jeremy Stevens had spent more time practicing and less time grooming his disgusting facial hair and thinking of clever ways to insult Joey Porter, you probably would have had two more touchdowns.

Referees make bad calls. But please do not diminish the accomplishments of the Steelers because of it. If Seattle was a team worthy of the Lombardi trophy, they would have overcome the bad calls...you know. Like the Steelers did against the Colts.

In short, fuck off Skip Bayless, Mark Schlerett and almost everyone else who writes/announces for ESPN.

Oh yeah-And when a reciever extends his arm the whole way pushing off a defender THAT IS OFFENSIVE PASS INTERFERENCE. SHUT UP. Just because most of the time the reciever gets away with it, does not make it ANY LESS pass interference. Same with that "controversial" holding call. When you fuck up, in front of a ref, in the Superbowl, expect to get your ass flagged for it AND STOP CRYING INTO YOUR GODDAMN HALF-CAF, DOUBLE FOAM, NON-FAT SOY LATTES, YOU BIG CRYBABIES.