Peace out.

See ya later, Michelle Kwan. Now, we all felt bad for you when Tara took your gold in Nagano (8 years ago). We really did. But when you totally fucked up four years ago and got bronze, behind Sara Hughes and that Russian chick, we all started to think it was time for you to hang it up. Then, when you only skated in one qualifying event for these Olympics, but somehow still managed to get there, we were all a little pissed at you. Face it 'Chelle. You're too old to still be looking for your first gold. No one thinks you're endearing or inspiring any more. You didn't even win the last World Championship you skated in (2005, bronze medal). You're too old (I know, harsh when you're only 26) Gold medals aren't won by women any more, they're won by little girls who are light and tiny and freakishly creepy.

But really, how much does it suck that the little sister of the girl who beat your ass four years ago is taking your place? Michelle Kwan probably has a voodoo alter devoted to the Hughes sisters.

All of that being said, Team Sasha, FTW!