I seem to have discovered something

Oh hey. A blog. The place where I verbally masturbate onto a computer screen and you come and read it, then tell me what a clever girl I am. Because what I read, think and like is so goddamn important.

So, today is election day. I've already voted absentee, so I get to ignore all this hullabaloo with a send of self-righteous amusement. As I've been saying for the past few weeks, I used to be so political- there was a time when I would be hanging on every state and race in this election with bated breath. The way things turned out, however, was that my spirit was crumpled by the clusterfuck that was the 2000 election, and then when its disasterous (fake) results failed to right themselves in the 2004 election, I pretty much lost my faith in the public at large to ever make an informed, rational decision about who is qualified to lead this country and who is not. Do I want the Democrats to take the House? Absofuckinglutely, but if they don't, I will probably just throw up my hands and say "typical."

I suppose this is what comes with "growing up"- the realization that politics, in general are a crock. I used to campaign and feel really good about trying to make a difference, when the fact of the matter is that all campaigning is is trying to up one candidate or party's exposure. Elections aren't about ideals or issues, they're about whose team picked a better tie, who sweat less under the studio lights, whose smile looks better plastered across a four-foot-tall billboard. Now, I view politics as something individual and more global. I care about issues/things, not parties/people. If the Republicans were to come up with a comprehensive plan tomorrow for alternative energy and then immediately began putting it into motion, I would be behind it 100%.

I have my beliefs and personal concerns about our government-but I don't feel like anyone represents them fully except me. Thus the reason this election is only of moderate interest to me, rather than the earth-shattering event it was four years ago. I wonder if everyone in this generation feels like this-were two elections where we were told our votes mattered most, but ended meaning nothing at all, enough to break our collective backs with the weight of political futility?

I'd like to hope not. I'd like to hope that there are people out there with more zeal and optomism than me, less selfish, more dedicated. I'd like someone to rally behind, but I'm just not interested enough to be that person.

This is my boom stick

Creepy.

Now that the Necronomicon has been found, you know it's only a matter of time before someone records that garbage and unleashes an army of the undead on us all. I for one, will be purchasing a shotgun, brushing up on my neck-snapping skills and possibly calling Michigan native Bruce Campbell for a zombie-slaying consult.

Also

Everyone else is really dumb

Jokes about Polaks being stupid can suck it.

Reason #485,000 why most men should not talk about issues of gender

This is a story of men behaving badly in groups.

Excuses, excuses, excuses. In column on espn.com's Page 2, Jason Whitlock says that the Duke lacross rape incident ( Here if you have no idea what I'm talking about.) shouldn't be viewed through a racial filter, rather one of gender. If he would have just stopped there, we might have been okay. After all, rape is a male-on-female crime in a far larger proportion that it is a one-color-on-another-color crime.

However, Jason is a professional columnist and has somewhere around 1,000 words to back this statement up. Which he does, beautifully, with the classic argument that "boys will be boys" and that's why this is a crime of gender-not because men in society are raised to have little respect for women in general, and no respect for women who may happen to strip for a living, but because they just can't help themselves.

Some highlights:

Men behaving badly in groups -- especially under the influence of alcohol -- cuts across all social, economic and racial demographics.

I always have contended, somewhat jokingly, that there should be rules outlawing men from gathering in groups of three or more without a woman as chaperone or serious surveillance equipment. Whitlock's law: A man's intelligence, maturity and decision-making skills decrease as the number of men within earshot of his voice increases.

Whitlock's law is a product of a youth spent sucking on beer bongs and zig zags, hosting and attending bachelor parties, growing up on the barstools inside my father's tavern and planning debauchery and lewd behavior with teammates and friends of all races.

I can honestly say that I don't have a male friend who could avoid saying, "There go I but for the grace of God" when thinking about the Duke lacrosse players.

Disgusting, utter bullshit and excuses, excuses, excuses. You can't treat a woman like a human being because of some societal constructs associated with being male? You can't understand the word "no" because you're around your buddies?

Whitlock isn't all bad here-he does suggest an education program, but what he suggests "...what constitutes sexual harassment, sexual assault, the dangers of alcoholism and drugs, unwanted and unwed pregnancy, how to respectfully socialize with people outside your race, etc." isn't anything the average college freshman hasn't heard a million times before. The problem here lies much, much deeper, mostly with Whitlocks male community excuse and his contention that strippers deserve no respect, just because they happen to take their clothes off for a living. His contention that alcohol and "planning lewd behavior" from an early age in a whacked out form of "male-bonding" is an excuse for the way these snotty Duke brats treated that woman is incredibly misguided.

Bottom line: Teach men how to view a woman as a human being, not as something they can degrade, ridicule and control and then maybe we'll talk. Jason and I agree on one point however-boys aren't raised to become men, they're raised to become idiots and sexists and that's probably where the problem lies.

(Note-I know this does not apply to all men. I know several who are respectful and gracious and lovely. Please hold off on thinking me a crazy man-hater, because I'm not.)

Don't get it twisted

So, Cynthia McKinney. You know who she is right? The Georgia congresswoman (D, of course) who's playing a game of "who-assaulted-whom" with Capitol Hill police who claim they didn't recognize her when she tried to bypass security and enter the Capitol Building. (FYI- Members of the House do not have to go through the security rigamarole, but are asked to wear special Congress pins. McKinney was not wearing hers at the time of the incident.)

Capitol Hill police are seeking a warrant for her arrest, charges as yet undisclosed. She is crying racism/sexism. A picture, for reference.



I'm fairly certain her claims of racism are justified-if she was a white woman, or a white man for that matter, chances are Capitol Hill police wouldn't have given a second thought as to her validity as a member of Congress.

At any rate, Cynthia was on Wolf Blitzer last night. Some highlights.


BLITZER: … you were talking earlier about racial profiling, and that there was racism involved in stopping you for questioning because you weren’t wearing your congressional pin.
MCKINNEY: Now, Wolf, you know I didn’t say that, so, don’t twist my words. BLITZER: Well, tell us what you said.
MCKINNEY: Don’t even begin to twist my words.

Wolf-this woman tangled with Capitol police. She will not hesitate to lay the smack down on you.

BLITZER: When did you — when did you change your hairstyle?
MCKINNEY: In January of this year. But don’t you think it’s really frivolous? And, really, I — I can’t even describe — if the security of the House of Representatives of the United States is based on how members of Congress wear their hair, Wolf, I think this is really ridiculous.

The contention here is, that McKinney changed her hair from the braided style in the photo above to a more free-flowing, mini-fro kind of deal and police are claiming they didn't recognize her because of her hair. Which is outrageous This woman has been in Congress for 11 years. Her hair has been changed for several months. This is seriously ridiculous, but it doesn't change the fact that Cynthia McKinney is still a Grade-A badass.

Also-I'm not certain about this and have no way of confirming, but I think she may have been the Congress member who is shown saying "We would like to call on the Senate, but the Senate is absent." in Farenheit 9-11.

At any rate-Well played Cynthia. Well played, indeed.

I've seen the needle and the damage done

I can't believe this is still shock to people. Heroin was huge when I was in high school, and I'm sure it's still huge three years later. For that matter, drugs of any kind in Westmoreland County are ridiculously hard to get ahold of. You name it, I know someone who did it on a regular basis.

It's times like this when I'm reminded of what a totally different world Western Pennsylvania is. Weird, crazy things happen there-Confederate flags, people who know how to shoot guns, etc, etc, etc. None of that exists here and I've yet to determine if that's about location or culture or economics or just a weird anomaly.

Oh Westmoreland County. You are a strange beast.

Ri-goddamn-diculous

Sir, you are under arrest for being a jagoff.

Only in Pittsburgh. Pigeons beware.

This is the story of Johnny Rotten

So fucking punk rock.

Deconstruction of textual convention, gender and agency, implications of language and useage

Where is the job market for being a pretentious literary asshole? I would like to be a part of that.

However, I cannot just walk into an advising office and say "Hey, I'm an arrogant, academic jerk who likes books. What should I do with my life?"

But really, writing ridiculous analytical papers is my only marketable skill.

Calling out the lurkers.

LuckyKatie53
WhatDaDillyYo18
Stephers449

Who are you and why are you here?

Jane Austen is rolling in her grave somewhere

I just saw a trailer for the movie version of Pride and Prejudice starring Kiera Knightly. The music scoring it? Fucking "Collide" by Howie Day.


Oh yes. Because when I think 19th century British comedy of manners novels, I think of shitty, sacchrine, acoustic pop-rock from 2005.

We are not amused.

Bad blogger, bad!

Sorry. I suck at blogging lately. Someday, I will get back to being political and updating everyday, I swear. Probably after midterms/when I get my legal issues worked out.

To placate you, here is a picture of a cat drinking Yueng-ling

If you'd like to know why I'm a feminist...

...it's because men like this continue to exist.

Also, I keep waking up every hour or so and it sucks ass.

Relax-This won't hurt.

We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark — the place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.

Four dead in Ohio

Rules for a Kent Weekend
1) Don't follow Angry. Ever.
2) Don't drive into the lake
3) "Not it," in fact, did not end when you left middle school
4) It's possible to live for three days eating nothing but caramel Ho-Hos, Ruffles and other Hostess products.


I had a great weekend. In other news, they're baaaaaaack



For real? Shut up and die and GET A LIFE, you pathetic waste. Actually, no, you know what? IM me. Ask me whatever it is you're so desperate to know, because I'm getting sick of you turning up just when I'd forgotten all about you.

Happy excuse to sell chocolate, cards, roses and diamonds (things that no one needs, ever) in the name of love Day.

Lame.

Peace out.

See ya later, Michelle Kwan. Now, we all felt bad for you when Tara took your gold in Nagano (8 years ago). We really did. But when you totally fucked up four years ago and got bronze, behind Sara Hughes and that Russian chick, we all started to think it was time for you to hang it up. Then, when you only skated in one qualifying event for these Olympics, but somehow still managed to get there, we were all a little pissed at you. Face it 'Chelle. You're too old to still be looking for your first gold. No one thinks you're endearing or inspiring any more. You didn't even win the last World Championship you skated in (2005, bronze medal). You're too old (I know, harsh when you're only 26) Gold medals aren't won by women any more, they're won by little girls who are light and tiny and freakishly creepy.

But really, how much does it suck that the little sister of the girl who beat your ass four years ago is taking your place? Michelle Kwan probably has a voodoo alter devoted to the Hughes sisters.

All of that being said, Team Sasha, FTW!

Thank you ESPN

All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive

Oh, and by the way...we won the Superbowl. Despite all the hateration, it's still probably the best thing to ever happen.

Now, let's start on that other hand.

Dear Sportswriters of the world-

Your behavior today, the morning after the Superbowl, has confirmed my suspiscion that you are the lowest, vilest form of humanity alive. You talk up the Steelers, then say they have no mo' going into the Big Game because YOU have hyped them to. effing. death.

I will say this once and that will be the goddamn end of it. The Seattle Seahawks were not robbed. They had every bit as much chance to win that game as we did. If Mike Holmgren knew how to manage a clock or coach, your kicker would have made at least one of those field goals. If Jeremy Stevens had spent more time practicing and less time grooming his disgusting facial hair and thinking of clever ways to insult Joey Porter, you probably would have had two more touchdowns.

Referees make bad calls. But please do not diminish the accomplishments of the Steelers because of it. If Seattle was a team worthy of the Lombardi trophy, they would have overcome the bad calls...you know. Like the Steelers did against the Colts.

In short, fuck off Skip Bayless, Mark Schlerett and almost everyone else who writes/announces for ESPN.

Oh yeah-And when a reciever extends his arm the whole way pushing off a defender THAT IS OFFENSIVE PASS INTERFERENCE. SHUT UP. Just because most of the time the reciever gets away with it, does not make it ANY LESS pass interference. Same with that "controversial" holding call. When you fuck up, in front of a ref, in the Superbowl, expect to get your ass flagged for it AND STOP CRYING INTO YOUR GODDAMN HALF-CAF, DOUBLE FOAM, NON-FAT SOY LATTES, YOU BIG CRYBABIES.